Type Three

At their best, they are driven to obtain excellence and can become exemplary and be role models in the areas they master. They are highly focused and know how to effectively set and meet goals. They want to bring out the best in themselves and are willing to keep sacrificing a great deal to achieve excellence, but at the same time they are accepting of themselves as they are. Their self-acceptance and confidence comes from within, not from the need to impress others and obtain external validation. They are sincere and realistic with themselves, and it is possible to see their heart together with their usually energetic attitude. They are inspirational and motivational in helping you achieve your goals, injecting hope in you that you are capable of attaining your potential.

Although they are ambitious and are able to subordinate present needs in order to attain excellence in all they do, they know how to be supportive team players who can respectfully and inspirationally coach the other team members and inject hope in those who feel behind. They are hard workers, but work doesn’t become everything for them; they are also committed to their family and friends. They are great communicators, receptive to people, personable and sociable, fast moving, fast learners, eager and enthusiastic, full of a go-ahead energy, entrepreneurial, efficient, practical, independent, ambitious, energetic, competent, persistent, and industrious.

In the Stuckness Zone an intense desire to be needed and become indispensable to others starts running inside them. An “I must give to be loved” belief dominates their thinking. Their attention tends to go automatically to detecting and anticipating the needs of others. They may become helpers, rescuers, and pleasers, trying to feel indispensable to too many people and projects, trying too hard to obtain approval, acceptance, and appreciation for their generous acts. (Although there is always some minimum degree of selectivity in their picking whom to help.) This makes them flatterers and makes them act receptively interested in others most of the time.

Sometimes they may act intrusively, as if forcing their help and advice on others, offering their insights when not asked. They may act as if they know better than you what you truly need. They can be controlling, possessive, manipulative, patronizing, and hostile, treating others with condescension and a “you-could-have-never-done-it-without-my-help” attitude.

They trap themselves in a triple way: first, it is hard for them to request and receive from others; second, they feel guilty about being selfish when they pay attention to their own needs; third, they expect others to do the same as they do for them (to divine their needs so they don’t need to ask for things).

As a result, their personal needs become further repressed and unmet.

Anger builds inside since they feel they have dedicated too much to others while repressing their own needs, and they feel used, controlled, and unappreciated. Sudden emotional outbursts, upheavals, and accusations can be common. They can be confused regarding their own needs. Stress builds and mental, physical, emotional, and financial exhaustion arise since they have often dedicated all their available resources in their quest for approval, acceptance, and love from others.